Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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