in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
