This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize