Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
