carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
