I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
