just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
