so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
