I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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