Me too!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize