evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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