I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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