Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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