the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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