i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
