There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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