theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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