dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
