Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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