You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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