Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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