Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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