In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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