As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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