I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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