I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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