I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize