i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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