I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
