Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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