i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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