when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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