THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
