God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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