things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize