I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
