Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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