It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
