can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize