And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
