the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
