So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize