I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
