I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
