Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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