I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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