I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize