I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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