I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize