just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
3 2 1 whiskey
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
