You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
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so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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