so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
