shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
