you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
