Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
