I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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