well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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