Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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  (406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up. http://tfl.nu/pzz5
  Replies (26) Good night (7845) Bad night (696)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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  (702): I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever http://tfl.nu/c1jo
  Replies (11) Good night (2079) Bad night (1168)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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  (612): I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children. http://tfl.nu/5wvk
  Replies (16) Good night (3235) Bad night (897)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.

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  (208): I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome. http://tfl.nu/laeb
  Replies (21) Good night (7996) Bad night (643)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.

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  (419): I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf. http://tfl.nu/4l78
  Replies (41) Good night (1753) Bad night (9518)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.

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  (301): the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/vq2t
  Replies (8) Good night (6188) Bad night (845)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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  (604): Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him. http://tfl.nu/v9q2
  Replies (16) Good night (4165) Bad night (1047)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge

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  (248): My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge http://tfl.nu/bj9s
  Replies (16) Good night (2139) Bad night (604)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING

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  (517): I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING http://tfl.nu/fw3v
  Replies (8) Good night (1426) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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  (614): We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid http://tfl.nu/h9fh
  Replies (12) Good night (1691) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock

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  (571): So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock http://tfl.nu/1xfu
  Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (779)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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  (281): A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before. http://tfl.nu/gsfk
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (395)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.

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  (570): And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny. http://tfl.nu/bodd
  Replies (9) Good night (860) Bad night (440)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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  (604): I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner. http://tfl.nu/27g8
  Replies (7) Good night (1228) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.

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  (360): A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy. http://tfl.nu/2450
  Replies (4) Good night (1393) Bad night (394)

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