Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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  (212): that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment http://tfl.nu/63lr
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (2834)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....

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  (503): Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby.... http://tfl.nu/qo4n
  Replies (11) Good night (2916) Bad night (448)
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  (530): View more from California

  the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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  (530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo
  Replies (25) Good night (10494) Bad night (1138)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

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  (905): "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends" http://tfl.nu/crxa
  Replies (17) Good night (4987) Bad night (758)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

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  (516): She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass http://tfl.nu/tdnt
  Replies (18) Good night (7208) Bad night (1256)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (8098) Bad night (1185)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.

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  (409): The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711. http://tfl.nu/l97v
  Replies (1) Good night (3099) Bad night (1012)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (3001) Bad night (766)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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  (386): Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now http://tfl.nu/ahzl
  Replies (1) Good night (1329) Bad night (1189)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.

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  (615): Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place. http://tfl.nu/527t
  Replies (2) Good night (1930) Bad night (492)
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  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (509) Bad night (1437)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.

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  (307): They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on. http://tfl.nu/xhc3
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (554)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.

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  (804): I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together. http://tfl.nu/pd1t
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (282)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.

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  (647): Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul. http://tfl.nu/h3kr
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (195)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.

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  (902): I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks. http://tfl.nu/hv7j
  Replies (5) Good night (646) Bad night (207)

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