Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!