I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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