Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
