I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.