GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza