you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's like heaven, but drunker
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.