she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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